There are bad movies and there are badass movies. Then there are movies that make you ask why! We shake your head in disbelief, cringe in distaste and wonder about the sanity of all those involved in its production. These are movies that are so indescribably bad; they cross over into the territory of greatness.
This movie is a cult classic no one had heard of. That is, until a decade after its release when some students developed a veneration and decided to make it rank high on IMDB. Now everyone has heard of charming Gunda villains such as Hatela, Chu****, Bulla; dialogue that is so unspeakably offensive it makes you crack up. Gunda has production values so tacky as to be unbelievable and a story so bad it makes you marvel. Watch the video to understand the level of execrable this movie achieved.
Everything was wrong with this film: a director who thought he could ‘remake’ a cult classic like Sholay, a laughable Jai-Veeru ki Jodi, a wasted Mohanlal, an unbearable auto-wali Basanti and a comically snarling Amitabh Bachchan. RGV ki Aag also destroys Mehbooba, arguably Bollywood's most timeless floor filler. See if you can tolerate this interminable-seeming (but only 5 minute long) compilation ‘trailer’ of the film.
Salman Khan plays Hero (yes that is his name in the movie) as well as the ghost of aforesaid Hero. There is a heart transplant, murderous villains and unrequited love in the film starring two Khan Brothers (Salman and Arbaz) and produced by the third (Sohail)… in Salman Khan's own words this self-indulgent piece of tripe is India's “most expensive home movie”. If you decide to watch it as such, it is a dazzling, sparkling film! Watch this ‘comedy’ scene – with the iconic line tu karate to main Marathe – if you dare.
Kamaal R Khan is famous-for-being-famous. Mostly he is known for being sexist, casteist and various other things that translate to cretin. He is also known for making and starring in this film – Deshdrohi. Watch this scene for the stellar acting of the man – who continues to speak right after he is shot in the general area of the larynx.
The movie featured a quite terrific cast: it starred Om Puri, Amrish Puri, Naseeruddin Shah, Kulbhushan Kharbanda, Danny. But alas, China Gate was such a bad film that this song (which Baz Luhrmann famously used for his film Moulin Rouge!) is pretty much the only thing people remember about it.
This film should not have been made the first time (1983), much less a second time (2013). Perhaps the first time was a mishap that reflected its times; a dark, dark period for Hindi cinema. But when Sajid Khan made it a second time; one had the sneaking suspicion that he was privately spoofing a bad film with a worse one. As a send-up, it was brilliant, if it was a serious attempt at remaking a film, it was inexcusable! Watch this 30 second clip to understand instantly why this was such a terrible film.
Himesh Reshamiyya should simply have rejoiced in the unexpected success that his modest musical talents managed to garner. He should never have mistaken himself as being possessed of star quality or even a modicum of acting talent. He has made himself star in several films, so it is difficult to pick out one, truly bad one. Where Aap Ka Suroor qualifies for the so-bad-it-is-great tag is the fact that the whole film pivots on the laughable concept that he is irresistible to women. I won’t explain more – Kanan Gill and Biswa Kalyan Rath do it so well.
I am all for movies that I can watch without my thinking hat on (I think Andaz Apna Apna is idiotic and silly but still simply marvelous) but I draw the line when a movie sets out to insult my intelligence. I can only think that they started Tees Maar Khan without a script and simply made it all up as they went along. Peopled with indescribably stupid characters, this story hurtles nowhere rapidly. It has utterly over the top hamming that passes for acting… a movie that clearly ‘happened’ without any application of mind at all. This scene – where conjoined twins, a flying wig and unalloyed stupidity pass for humour – is proof enough! Tees Maar Khan is so bad that it’s great! And I developed a sneaking admiration for the sheer temerity of its makers and the actors brave enough to act in it!
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