Morgan Freeman is the guy who quirkily played God in Bruce Almighty. He starred in iconic movies such as Driving Miss Daisy, The Shawshank Redemption, Gone Baby Gone, the Dark Knight movies, the Now You See Me movies and so many more. He is also the avuncular figure who made us introspect and question our beliefs as he guided us through some fundamental aspects of faith in the Discovery series The Story of God with Morgan Freeman. We thought we knew him and then these allegations of sexual misconduct and assault blew up in all our faces. What are we to make of this?
After the Harvey Weinstein scandal, the sexual harassment stories have started to emanate out of Hollywood with alarming regularity: Roman Polanski, Kevin Spacey, Dustin Hofman, Steven Seagal, Richard Dreyfuss, Sylvester Stallone, David Copperfield, Michael Douglas and about 200 others! Morgan Freeman is among the latest.
It is alleged that he subjected a young production assistant to unwanted touching and inappropriate comments on an almost daily basis on the sets of Going in Style. He would also constantly comment on bodies of the production staff of Now You See Me when the film was being made in 2012. Several other such allegations have come to light when CNN reporter Chloe Melas herself was subjected to very suggestive comments from Freeman.
Freeman tendered an apology – of sorts. However he wanted there to be a distinction between ‘horrific incidents of sexual assault’ and ‘misplaced compliments and humour’. He explained himself by saying that this was his way of complimenting people and making them feel at ease; sometimes it didn’t come across as intended. Any hurt is ‘unintentional’ and there was never any assault or demands of sex in exchange for employment or career advancement he clarified.
This brings to mind the recent incident of Aziz Ansari – someone else that most would consider a thoroughly nice guy accused of sexual misconduct. In Ansari's case it was a case of a date gone wrong. The woman in question was upset and uneasy at how things turned out; Ansari said that the he had misread the signals and that he was truly sorry.
I understand that some men are genuinely bewildered about what is expected of them – what’s OK and what is not. Many men are angry about what they see as being made the guilty party for every date-gone-wrong and every time a woman feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about a situation.
Yes there can be bad dates and no, men don’t always have to feel guilty about these each time. Flirting is a way for men and women to get to know each other and express their attraction for each other; this is also well and good. Men and women ought to be able to understand and handle these situations maturely.
Many of the accused simply brush aside allegations of harassment or assault as outright false; nothing more than opportunism that tries to milk the situation for some free publicity. Doubtless there are also instances where allegations are completely baseless and motivated by the desire for fame and publicity; in such cases the accusers must be made to pay exemplary damages.
Further we also need to differentiate between instances of gross misconduct or serious assault on the one hand and inappropriate, suggestive or even lewd behavior on the other. Yes, nuance is important.
But here’s the thing –the harmless flirting crosses over into the offensive when it is unwanted and when it hurts or devalues the other person. When one is in a position of power vis-à-vis the other person’s job or chances of advancement, that ‘flirting’ assumes more sinister overtones.
What constitutes Sexual Harassment
And here is the bottom line – it wasn’t OK then, but they told us it was OK; a bit of nudge-nudge wink-wink fun. If women (or men) felt uncomfortable, upset, belittled, hurt or violated, that was just too bad. In fact they were ridiculed and perhaps told to ‘grow up’; their protests laughed at and dismissed out of hand. They kept silent because they were made to believe that they did not have a legitimate grievance; the harassment was all in their heads.
In less enlightened times, we were expected to laugh along with the men who made crude and lewd comments; these were the ‘players’ the cool Casanovas who imagined themselves irresistible to women. The aging Lotharios would imagine that they were being funny and complimentary when in fact their comments reeked of disrespect.
The fact is that we now live in more enlightened times – these are times when men (and women) are excepted to be a lot more ‘woke’ than was considered acceptable earlier. The fact is that women (and men) don’t just have to ‘suck it up’ anymore when they are made to feel powerless, humiliated and violated. The fact is that men (and women) will now be expected to behave in ways that are more civil and evolved; sensitive to the feelings of others and responsible of their own actions and positions.
It may be a bit of a learning process; but I'm sure guys will manage – even if they are 80 year old Morgan Freeman.
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