Being a parent is an imperfect science at best. Parenting can be a minefield involving guesswork, considerable amount of trial and error, placing reliance on gut instinct and perhaps some assiduous reading of how-to books. Most parents feel inadequate no matter when they become parents. Most parents are just trying to do the best they can to bring up happy, well adjusted, able and confident kids. A good parent is someone who can go over this list and tick them all off
Declaring Your Love
You cannot love your child too much. While helping a child develop a realistic self image, let your child be perfectly confident of the fact that you love her or him unconditionally, completely and unreservedly; that there is nothing in life so important to you as your child; that nothing they say or do will change that love.
Kindness & Compassion
Perhaps as important as love is kindness. Making the effort to empathise with a child – a child probably under stress, experiencing frustration but unable to express this clearly – is vital. The small kindnesses a child experiences, amount to a wealth of happiness. Kindness is comforting, happy making and teaches the child the importance of being kind to others.
Setting Boundaries
You do your child no favours if you tell them what is OK but neglect to tell them what is not OK. Children benefit from structure and routine; from consistency. If you want to bring up a responsible citizen, your child needs to know about not only their own rights but also those of others and the importance of not impinging upon those.
Showing Respect
A child’s feelings and aspirations are as important as an adult’s. So when a child wants to say something, listen… really listen. Pay them the compliment of not dismissing their feelings, fears, apprehensions; even if they seem silly to you from your vantage point as an adult.
Vulnerability
It is OK to let your child know that you’re vulnerable too. It lets them understand that it is OK to be vulnerable, fallible, human! It is also important to then teach your child coping mechanisms to deal with that vulnerability and self doubt. Watching you overcome your problems will be educative and inspiring for your child.
Leading by Example
To teach your child to be good, you have to be good. There is really no point in telling your child that it is wrong to lie, exploit others and to be unfair to others if you’re not willing to demonstrate this to your child by not lying, not being exploitative and being fair in all your dealings.
