Sense and our sensibilities keep changing. The sort of awareness and empathy we have today, we may not have had ten years ago. Things that passed for humour in the past may now be seen as ignorant and bigoted. The casual sexism and microaggressions we overlooked in the past may not pass muster today. But then there are some things that are awful no matter when they were said. This Sanjay Dutt ad for Haywards beer was awful then and it is awful now. Take a look:
Alcohol ads are prohibited in India and advertisers usually resort to surrogate advertising. So this is supposedly an ad for Haywards 5000 ‘soda’ and presumes to lecture us all on ‘mardaangi’ or the concept of masculinity. I cannot remember watching this beer ad before (thank goodness for that), however, it has now resurfaced and it has not aged well.
The ad seems to have a problem with a lot of things: men who want to grow the hair on their head and remove the hair on their limbs. Men should not want to spend time in ‘beauty parlours’ and undergo perming and steaming treatments. Rather they should be in gyms ‘where they belong’. Feminine colours such as pink, mauve are a no-no as are hair removal products. ‘Manly’ beards, stubble and sideburns are recommended.
Bizarrely, the ad also decries ‘sissy’ scooters and some dog breeds – men should ride motorbikes and have dog breeds such as bulldogs rather than Pomeranians (this one really foxed me). Also, men shouldn’t dance the salsa but do the bhangra instead, go figure. Guys should not have or use any sort of flowery stuff. Finally - and apparently the most important thing is – they should not drink ‘girly’ pink cocktails and have this particular brand of soda.
The whole ad is nonsensical and frankly obnoxious, but a couple of things are right in there: the ad asks men to do their own repairs and fix their own plumbing, which I approve of. Everyone should have basic problem solving and repair skills, regardless of gender. The ad also says that men should watch sport such as cricket and football instead of saas-bahu serials. There as well I agree – no one in the world should watch those regressive serials.
And now let’s talk about why this ad is absolutely revolting for promoting the worst kind of gender stereotypes. Men ought not to look after babies or cook, because those are women's jobs, presumably. Doing all the ‘girlie’ stuff means that men ‘lose their gift of manliness’. If this is supposed to be funny, the ‘joke’ really, really fell flat – then as well as now. These gender stereotypes not only restrict women, but they also restrict men in the sort of aspirations they can have and the choices are allowed to make.
The expectations are that men have to be strong and stoic and women have to be submissive and emotional. These cultural norms are such that men are discouraged from seeking help. The only emotions it is OK for men to express are anger and aggression. Imagine how this negatively impacts a young boy who is jeered at as ‘behaving like a girl’ for crying or not reacting to vicious bullying with voilence. And imagine how this negatively impacts a young girl when ‘behaving like a girl’ is used as a sneering pejorative.
This is the very definition of toxic masculinity: there is the expectation that men have to be self-reliant, and women have to be reliant on men. Men are shamed for feeling and expressing emotions and are encouraged to assert their dominance. They are sneered at for treating women as equals and actually encouraged to devalue the opinions and the self of women. They are cheered as ‘playboys’ for objectifying women and treating them casually.
The rigid classification of everything into ‘male’ and ‘female’ behaviours and traits, does terrible harm to men as well. It is seen that this "traditional masculinity ideology" can cause stress, body image issues, and poor social functioning among men.
The Sanjay Dutt Haywards ad isn't just silly because it calls upon men to eschew pink and grow hair. It is problematic because it perpetuates regressive stereotypes and denigrates simple decency, empathy and emotional maturity in men. If there is one positive takeaway in there, it would be the plethora of comments rejecting the ad and everything it stands for.
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