Sometimes, it becomes necessary to deliver a telling insult to some people – they are just that clueless, annoying and/or full of themselves. However, insulting is an art. You have to be able to do it in a subtle, non-obvious way. It has to be done in a way that the person cannot really take offence at; in a way, they cannot even be certain whether or not they’ve been insulted. Here are some classy insults to hand out at the appropriate times:
Insult for the opinionated so and so
Did I ask?
There are those who feel compelled to offer their two bits worth of advice and to foist their views rather freely in any given situation; even when they aren’t part of the conversation. Tell them gently that their opinion isn’t really welcome. If you’ve already used up the one above, here’s another suggestion:
Mr. Opinionated
For the know-it-all
Are You Google?
This guy is related to Mr. Opinionated above. Let him/her know that you want their inputs about as much as a hole in the head.
The compliment/insult for the clueless
Does the space in your head bother you?
Ever met someone who makes you marvel at their cluelessness? Delight them by telling them their brain is as good as new; and then ending with a nasty sting in the tail of that supposed compliment.
One for the clueless and the opinionated
Dhishoom and dhishoom
Everyone has the right to be stupid at times; but some abuse the privilege! And some of those clueless souls are extremely opinionated to boot. Try this one with them – it will leave them wondering if they’ve just been called brainless or over-opinionated.
For the disbeliever
Seriously?
There are some people who are intellectually challenged but are also lamentably reluctant to accept the fact! Illustrate the point for them with this understated and subtle barb.
Insult for the wannabe
Come now…all those buttons
There are some sad people in the world that would really, really like to be hot and constantly try and project themselves as such. Offer them a gentle wakeup call.
The non-insult
The insult that wasn’t
The ‘object of your insult’ is never going to be quite sure whether or not they were insulted. Later it’s going to dawn upon them that they were insulted by not being insulted at all!
