Mental illnesses are still shrouded in mystery. There is much that we don’t know or understand about them. There is still significant stigma attached to the whole notion of mental ailments and there is still some shame associated with the idea of needing professional help. Because of the ignorance, the secrecy and the lack of understanding surrounding mental illnesses, people do still say things that are ignorant, insensitive or both - things that they really should not say:
This tweet by a mental health and chronic illness writer started things off. She spoke about her experience where someone told her this; which basically is the same as telling a person there is nothing wrong with you; buck up and stop pitying yourself. She started the hash tag #ThingsPeopleHaveSaidAboutMyMentalIllness.
Either because they are in some way ashamed of the situation that their child finds themselves in, or because they grew up in less enlightened times, some parents simply don’t understand how mental illnesses can be incapacitating; even life threatening. This tweet is indicative of how impatient some people can be with these real problems; how they seem to feel that a mental illness is somehow an excuse for inaction or escapism or failure.
This is rather like a patient going to a doctor to have their flu treated and the doctor saying to them oh, your temperature is too high and you're coughing and sneezing too much; if you just stop experiencing these symptoms you’ll be fine! The tweet seems to indicate a similar level of insensitivity from someone who is supposed to find a solution to a person's feelings of anxiety and discomfort.
“Oh you worry too much” many simply trot this out as a platitude as though by saying this, the person will instantly overcome what ails them. As one tweet said, “one of the worst parts of having anxiety is KNOWING you’re worrying too much but not being able to stop!”
This tweet speaks about doctor who had little clue about what was causing what. Clearly the person's anxiety issues caused them to lose their job – something their doctor was not quite able to grasp.
This tweet from someone who attempted suicide seems to speak about a particularly insensitive therapist who felt that the patient was supposed to help themselves. Maybe such a harsh approach would work on some. For others it may end causing even more alienation; pushing a person further into their depressive symptoms and making self harm even more likely.
Doctors themselves can make it all the fault of the patient. Friends may breezily suggest that nothing’s wrong; that if all else is fine, there is no excuse for a person to have any kind of mental issues. Some feel that getting over a mental illness is a simple matter of ‘cheering up’. But then there are those who understand – who offer the kind of support that one really needs at difficult times.
The very symptoms of depression or an anxiety disorder may mean that a person is scared of everything, including getting treatment. It is a job of a therapist to be patient, to find workable and nonthreatening solutions. It is also the job of others around to try and be more understanding and supportive.
Well that is partly true – all the disturbing, physically debilitating and incapacitating symptoms do originate from the brain – so in a sense it is in the head. But to announce that a person with a condition such as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is imagining it all; or worse faking it – for sympathy or any other reason displays rank ignorance and a breathtaking lack of compassion.
The fact is that mental illnesses are real. No one wants to feel anxious and scared all the time; no one wants to feel as though simply getting out of bed is too much to bother with. We need to arm ourselves with some knowledge, some compassion and a modicum of sensitivity. We need to remember that it can happen to anyone – us or our loved ones.
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