They say, don’t marry someone you can live with, marry the person who you cannot live without. That is the romantic view of relationships – all breathless passion and sweeping emotion. As most experienced adults will tell you, relationships aren't all about getting carried away by tumultuous desire. The best relationships are about friendship, laughter and shared values; the maturity to see the value of the other person and the willingness to do what it takes to make things work. Here’s how you can tell if the person you're with is a keeper:
This could really be indicative of a person's patience level, maturity, problem solving abilities and general ability to handle stress. Is that person is calm under difficult circumstances, do they get hassled by the silly, inconsequential stuff?
Two people in a relationship don’t have to be similar to each other; as a married person, I can testify to this myself. My husband and I are very dissimilar in our personality, but we complement each other. We have very different personal skill sets which allow us to take care of various different aspects of the relationship.
There is a lot that one reveals from the way they behave with wait staff. If a person courteous or respectful with someone in a service position that says a lot about their character --- their sense of entitlement. If one is rude or unduly demanding or they simply don’t acknowledge a person who is subordinate, this says a lot about how fair-minded they are and how they will behave in a relationship.
No adult should expect any other adult to look after, wait on them and pick up after them. Every adult should have certain life skills that make it easy for another person to live with them. While it is perfectly fine, in fact, desirable to have distribution of labour in a relationship, one (and men will admit it’s mostly men) cannot expect their partners to cook, clean and generally look after them.
There is no relationship without friction – that would be boring anyway. So couples have to be able to resolve differences with honesty and maturity. Being able to admit to a fault and being able to say sorry, are traits to cherish.
Sure there are times when work or other relationships could take precedence. However, a person’s willingness to prioritise another says a lot about how much they value that other person. If the relationship always seems to be the last priority while work, friends and other activities seem to be more important, it may be necessary to reexamine the relationship.
Do they know when to leave well alone? Do they make the effort to pay a compliment, do something thoughtful, lend an ear, give a spontaneous hug, or leave a loving note? It’s the little things that show caring – understanding and just simple acts of affection can make the difference between a relationship and a great relationship.
It is easy to become complacent in a relationship. Sometimes one needs to make the effort to spend time and enjoy each other. So, at the beginning of a relationship don’t go overboard – start as you mean to go on. To nurture a relationship find ways to spend quality time together and reasons to appreciate each other.
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