A recent article spoke about research conducted on the subject of smiling – how much humans smile; more particularly how much men and women smile. It was found that women smile about 62 times a day whereas men smile just 8 times a day. This is a staggering difference. Does this mean that women are happier than men? Actually, the explanations are more nuanced. There several reasons for this, including social conditioning and gender expectations.
There is a strong social expectation for men to hide their emotions because being in control is supposed to be a sign of strength. And men are supposed to be strong, right? They are supposed to be the ones to take charge and to make decisions and handle tough situations. Men are also expected to show more fortitude and not show sadness or grief because these emotions are seen as weaknesses. So men are encouraged not to express their feelings and they internalise the expectation. This means fewer smiles.
No matter how much progress the feminist movement makes, the male gender is still socially dominant. Men occupy disproportionately greater decision making positions in the family and roles of authority in society and the economy. Maybe this makes them more difficult to please, and to dole out their approval more sparingly?
Notice how it is acceptable for men to demonstrate anger in public because anger is seen to come from a place of strength and power. So a male showing his anger by using facial and verbal cues is seen as characteristic of ‘male behaviour’; aggressive, territorial or protective behaviour. The expectations from women are different; what is considered acceptable behaviour is also different.
Women are more expressive they say. They are less guarded and society doesn’t frown on women showing their emotions. Certainly, society is more indulgent of a woman crying in public than a man (though it is a thin line between 'expressive' and 'hysterical' when it comes to how society perceives women expressing their emotions). Hence the fact that society is more accepting of women being expressive of their feelings than men is one of the reasons women smile more.
The other reason is that women are expected to smile more. Smiling is seen as a sign of docility and agreeableness. It is often seen as a sign of submission and forgiveness; an attempt to soothe wounded feelings and smooth over difficult or tense situations. The woman is supposed to be the peacemaker and she is expected to give in and diffuse tension and smile to salve hurt egos. It’s as if it is a woman’s duty to make the world a more pleasant place by smiling, just smiling – whether or not she wants to.
Aesthetics, or rather objectification, is another reason. Notice how women (often scantily clad) are used to sell products to men. Women are often assigned roles where their looks matter more than their capability, such as receptionists and so on. In such positions, smiling is literally a part of the job. Smiling makes one appear more attractive and women are expected to do everything possible to be attractive. Notice the number of things that women do, which men aren't expected to: body-hair removal, makeup, wearing uncomfortable objects like corsets, wearing painful shoes, restrictive garments such as narrow skirts. Add smiling to that list.
If you are a woman you’ve heard this: why don’t you smile more? It makes you look so nice or don’t frown, you'll get wrinkles (the idea being that it is a woman’s duty to do everything possible to keep looking attractive and youthful). If you are a man, you're less likely to have heard those things. Smiling is gendered behaviour that girls and boys are taught early in life by society – is it any wonder what women smile 62 times a day whereas men smile just one eighth as often?
Do you have something interesting you would like to share? Write to us at [email protected]
