They say we get better, not older. This is mostly true. While we do start to have mysterious ailments and pain in muscles we didn’t know we had later in life, we also gain a modicum of wisdom. Very importantly, we have the foresight of hindsight. Don’t we wish that we’d known in our 20s what we now do in our 30s and 40s? Those of us who just turned 30 or 40 may wish that they knew this in our 20s:
Maybe it’s easier to go with the flow, but the costs are high in the longer term. Making choices based on family or peer pressure isn't always wise. It’s important to really think about life choices one makes in their 20s – based on what one really wants – not what others want. Having the courage of one’s convictions is important, even if that makes you a bit of a rebel.
Don’t be afraid to make mistakes – even when it comes to your career choice. At no point in life are mistakes easier to rectify than in your 20s when you're starting out in life. This is when you don’t have as many responsibilities as you may later in life. Don’t look upon your mistakes as failures. Look at them as information about what doesn’t work for you.
If you're expecting someone to change for you – don’t. And if you're trying to mould yourself into something that someone else expects of you, don’t do that either. People don’t really change and neither should people expect you to change for them.
Relationships can end and it could seem like the end of the world at the time. It isn't. Heartbreak is a part of growing up, unfortunately. Heartbreak in one's 20s can feel as though it will be impossible to ever love again. In your 30s you realise that there is a lot you can chalk down to experience... you can and actually did figure it out.
In one's 20s there is a lot of pressure to be a couple. Get married, says family. You should have a girl/boyfriend, say friends and acquaintances. Your 20s are when you should explore love, sure, but also learn to love your own company and be self-sufficient.
One has just completed formal education, is full of energy and ambition and can feel like a know-it-all in one’s 20s. However by the 30s one realises just how much one doesn’t know; that learning is a lifelong process that never, ever stops.
Maybe a high paying job, a car, a glamorous lifestyle seem to be the most important things in one’s 20s. However later in life, different things seem to matter. Consider what is going to be really important going forward – family, friends, security, health….
In one’s 20s it is easy to mock people or laugh at what they have or don’t have, the way they dress or speak. This is because one has little insight into where the other person comes from and what their story is. Looking beyond the façade of a person – with compassion and understanding is vital. Late in life, one is often amazed – and a little ashamed – at how shallow and devoid of compassion they were in their 20s.
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