The past couple of days saw hashtags such as #BoysLockeroom and #GirlsLockeroom trending on Twitter. News emerged, about a chat group called Bois Locker Room where boys discussed underage females in graphic detail and planned gang rape. Soon thereafter, claims also emerged about similar girls’ group(s) that objectified men. So are #BoysLockeroom and #GirlsLockeroom the same thing; two sides of the same coin?
A south Delhi school girl reported an Instagram group called Bois Locker Room. Morphed photos of minor girls, nudes and discussions about gang-raping were some of the objectionable content on this group. The Delhi Commission for Women took note and filed an FIR in the matter. There were outraged reactions on Twitter, and the hashtag #BoysLockeroom was trending. People pointed out that this was not a solitary case; that there were literally hundreds of such groups that objectified and degraded women. There were also calls for catching and imprisoning the boys responsible and cracking down on other such groups.
In response to this, #GirlsLockeroom started to trend. It was alleged that if males objectified females, the reverse was also true. Many shared screenshots of chat groups created by women, where pictures of men would be exchanged and graphic details discussed. Here as well, there was the charge of doing so without the consent of the men /boys in question. There were calls for suspension of and action against such groups and their admins as well and calls for the protection of men and their rights.
Some men, as well as some women on social media, expressed the view that these two are mirror images of each other. According to this view, both the males as well as females are equally guilty – and should be similarly punished. So are these equal? Is this a legitimate binary or a false equivalency?
Let us examine the source of the mindset that thinks nothing of disrespecting the opposite sex and let us also look at the actual consequences of this mindset. Are women made to feel safe in public spaces? Are they blamed for their clothes or their actions when they have acts of violence committed upon their bodies? Are boys in our families taught to respect all women – not just those they are related to, but also models and actors they see on screen, the domestic help at home? Are boys made to understand the concept of consent – clearly and unequivocally? The answer to all those questions is largely in the negative. This offers insight into the gender power structure, which is so very skewed in favour of men.
The fact is that girls and boys are brought up very differently – they are treated differently, there are different expectations from them and there is a vast gulf between behaviour considered acceptable for males and females. Unsavoury as it may sound, rape culture exists in our society. Incidents of rapes, gang rapes are reported with monotonous, horrifying regularly. Honour killings and domestic violence are still overwhelmingly perpetrated on the female.
Rape cuture
Take a look at our language: the truly vile curse words all have to do with women relatives and their genitalia. Examine how people in the public sphere are trolled online: they are hounded, abused, threatened when they dare to express views that some may disagree with. Women receive rape and murder threats and men are threatened with the rape of their daughters, mothers and sisters. In other words, the threat of sexual violence is always directed towards the female body.
When boys in chat groups objectify and degrade women, this normalises violence upon the female form. By contrast, while girls' chat groups objectify men without their consent, they do not contemplate violence upon their bodies. They do not long to subjugate and degrade. This is a fundamental and very significant difference why there is no equivalency between #BoysLockeroom and #GirlsLockeroom.
The swear-words referring to female genitalia and the recurring theme of violence and subjugation stem from a lack of respect. While Indian families do teach their sons to be respectful to their mothers and to an extent their sisters and wives, boys are not taught to respect all women. There is one to bed and quite another to wed – there is a stark dichotomy between the way some women are revered and others are objectified and degraded.
And now let us examine the result of the sort of conversations that take place in boys’ chats and girls’ chats. Now there is no question that both sides are being disrespectful of the other gender. Both need to be educated and counselled and taught about consent and the consequence of their words and actions. However, we do have to what is the likelihood of a girl committing a violent crime as a result of being egged on in a chat group? While the words and actions of the girls’ chat group is also reprehensible, there is a far greater likelihood of that boys’ chat group having grave and very real, voilent consequences. That, really is why #BoysLockeroom and #GirlsLockeroom are not mirror images and why this creates a completely false equivalency.
Unfortunately, bringing up #GirlsLockeroom in reaction to #BoysLockeroom is the basest whataboutery. It is not a serious attempt at discussing male harassment (which, I am well aware, is a serious, unacknowledged problem). This false equivalency stems from an unwillingness to confront a very stark, very real problem that exists in our society – to put it even more bluntly, this is a an unwillingness to take responsibility.
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