By now most of us have made our peace with our scientific team having lost contact with the Vikram Lander of Chandrayaan 2 mission. We have realised that the supposed failure was largely successful, that this is very much a part of scientific discovery and there are several positive takeaways to take heart from. We have also seen images of ISRO chief K Sivan breaking down, moist-eyed when it became clear that we had lost communication with the lander. Of course, people had much to say about ISRO, about Chandrayaan 2 and about the Chief’s tears on social media.
Here the Prime Minster is seen consoling ISRO Chairperson Kailasavadivoo Sivan in a now famous video. K Sivan was clearly emotional that the so-near-yet-so-far scenario prevented the mission from being a complete success.
The optics of the video swayed a lot of Indians; after all we are naturally emotional people. However some felt that such a public display of emotion demonstrates a poor temperament for a man of the ‘stature’ of the ISRO chief.
Others also felt that the tears were out of place. They felt that Sivan, as a team leader did not have to be made into a hero, nor did he have to indulge in childish public histrionics.
Another commentator felt that this was ‘unprofessional’ behavior and that it showed ‘emotional instability’. There were those who felt that one should be able to remain calm and stable when times are challenging.
Perhaps standup Atul Khatri thought rather too much was being made of something that is really a bit of a tempest in a teacup. He also made a snide reference to the way that Bollywood has recently embraced biopic-making and flag-waving jingoism.
This video appears to be a contrast to the other, widely circulated one with the tears and the consoling. Some feel that the reaction here is rather muted and less emotional in the absence of the cameras; that the tears as well as the consolation were not really spontaneous and were orchestrated at least in part for public consumption.
Those who give their best to their chosen field and work hard for their achievements make significant emotional investments in their work. When something goes wrong, it is only natural to feel and express that anguish felt many commentators who saw nothing wrong with Sivan or his tears.
This commentator pointed out that complete dedication to one's work could result in a sense of personal loss when things go wrong, pointing out that it is unkind to mock someone's tears.
Those who protested about the ISRO chief’s emotional reaction appeared to think that this was a sign of weakness; more particularly the sign of weakness from a man.
This brings up the whole issue of toxic masculinity hurting women as much as it hurts men. Emotional expressions are unfortunately seen as weakness; more particularly a feminine weakness that men must somehow rise above. They are seen as a lack of much-vaunted control rather than a simple expression of human feeling. This kind of mindset serves to paint women as unstable and untrustworthy and it puts undue pressure on men to behave in a way that may be antithetical to their nature and their feelings. This is unfair to both men and women.
Those saying that that the tears are justified only in view of the enormity of the project and the amount of work that Sivan put in the Chandrayaan project are also wrong. It doesn’t matter how much work went into something or what the onlooker thinks of a person's tears. We are no one to decide when someone should or shouldn’t cry. It doesn’t matter whether it is a lunar mission that every Indian had hopes from or whether it is just a ‘small’ personal setback.
If we stop telling people when crying is appropriate and when it is not, we may all be emotionally healthier and more secure. Women will suffer less prejudice and injustice. Men will suffer less ridicule and they will not be held up to some unrealistic ideal. Crying can be cathartic. Surely we should all be free to indulge now and then; regardless of age or gender or the perceived gravity of a situation?
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