A clear understanding of the concept of consent continues to elude those who offer up excuses and justifications for sexual assaults. The victim’s clothing, actions and their presence at a particular place and time actually have no bearing on a crime of violence, but for some reason, these become relevant for some people. Another way that people try to blame and shame the victim of sexual assault is to question the victim's hesitation or delay in coming forward with a complaint against their attacker. A case in point the attempt to belittle allegations of sexual assault against SCOTUS nominee Brett Kavanaugh made by Christine Blasey Ford.
Many ideological and political supporters of Kavanaugh have resorted to this why-come-forward-now-after-all-these-years refrain; including the President. The view is that if the victim of abuse did not come forward at the time, their complaint somehow becomes invalid and unworthy of being believed. There was an outpouring of responses from abused women and men, who tried to knock some sense into the ignorant, insensitive skulls of victim shamers and blamers with the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag.
Actor and singer Alyssa Milano posted this tweet to tell her own story of sexual assault; something that she could not bring herself to speak about for 30 years! She invited others to share their stories via the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag.
Abuse can result in PTSD or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can be disabling for a lot of people who undergo it. Symptoms may include agitation, hostility, self-destructive behaviour, social isolation, the inability to function normally and even actual memory loss.
Victims of abuse are often threatened or mocked or simply dismissed as liars or having an overactive imagination. When a family member is the perpetrator of the abuse, the child is often made to feel guilty or is told to keep quiet for economic reasons or bizarre, antiquated notions of ‘family honour’.
Victim blamers often resort to the argument of false accusations; citing the example of those who suffer because of false, vindictive accusations. The fact however remains that while false accusations are made in some cases, a majority of abuse victims do not in fact report crimes they have been subjected to.
When examining the evidence against the accused, all sorts of accusations are routinely made against the victim. The victim’s lifestyle, actions, life choices are all brought into question. Many victims are made to believe that they did somehow ‘deserved it’ or ‘asked for it’; the shame is often too great for the victim to come forward with their story.
Only recently have we come to realise the magnitude of the horrors that countless children underwent at the hands of their own priests. The full enormity and scale of the abuse as well as the church’s connivance is a story still unfolding. Is it any wonder that children felt confused, guilty and horrified about raising the finger of accusation at their own supposed protectors and mentors?
Victims are made to believe their being subjected to a crime of violence is somehow their fault. It is drilled into their heads; that something they did or didn’t do was the reason someone else chose to violate them.
Many people are still lamentably ignorant about sexual orientation and hugely prejudiced about anyone they see as different. An exchange such as this with a supposed protector; a person in a position of authority is unfortunately quite commonplace.
In this case, a woman was afraid of the chain of events that her report would result in; a possible murder, jail time for her father. At the time that a woman or man undergoes a horrifying, possibly brutal assault she or he firstly cannot credit the fact that they have in fact endured what they have. Then they are assailed with guilt, doubts, shame and so many other emotions that seriously impair clear thinking and decision making. Many victims feel that not reporting is the easy way out; because of the travails they know they would be subjected to.
So they stay silent. The way Christine Blasey Ford did... until it becomes imperative for them to speak up… the way that it became crucial for her to speak up in the case of nice guy Brett Kavanaugh.
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