For women, the experience of being in a public space is different from that of a man; something that women have spoken out about for a long time. Indian journalist Tanishka Sodhi shared what she experienced recently on the metro. This was an incident where ‘nothing happened’ supposedly, but was still something that was scary and deeply uncomfortable – a peculiarly female experience.
There is an extra level of awareness and caution that women are forced to have when out in public.
Strange men staring constantly, talking amongst themselves, following women, are common experiences and a constant hazard
This clueless commentator actually demonstrates a big part of the problem – how women are routinely gas-lighted and disbelieved; their experiences trivialised and/or dismissed out of hand.
Two women had felt the same about the men in the metro compartment. Sodhi was able to approach a policeman and nothing ‘actually happened’... In this instance
Something like this – or worse – has happened to every woman. Over time we all develop our own coping mechanisms and defences.
However the question begs to be asked – why are women routinely made to feel so unsafe and threatened?
Why should women have to remain on high alert at all times when out in public spaces? While it is worse in some cities than in others, that feeling of insecurity is present everywhere to a lesser or larger extent.
The fact is that most men are simply unaware of the feelings of insecurity women experience. Men take for granted what women will think ten times about: walking down a dark street, passing an area where a group of men are loitering, taking public transport late at night…
A lot of people think that women should learn self-defence to protect themselves against possible predators and maybe carry deterrents for the same reason.
There was another suggestion that would help women seek assistance in a dangerous or threatening situation. The question is, why should we have to?
This response from a man is actually heartening. He suggests countering harassment in this non-confrontational but visible manner. He acknowledges that since men are responsible for the problem, they ought to help resolve it.
If there are men who think nothing of ogling/stalking women and being threatening or acting creepy in other ways, there are those who try to counter this to make women feel safer as well.
But again, the question still rankles – why do women need to take all these precautions? Why do regular, decent men have to come to the rescue at all? When will it be OK for women to claim public spaces safely with the same level of confidence that men take for granted? As this article says, women are required to be vigilant at all times: what we wear, where we go, where we work, how we talk, walk and sit… it is an endless list.
All of this restricts women’s mobility, limits our choices and circumscribes our activities. We simply do not have as many options as men do – and for no fault of our own. As a woman of privilege, I know that I am among the lucky ones – and even I remain vigilant at all times. Most Indian women are far less fortunate – food for thought if you are a man.
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